I don't mind if it takes them a little bit longer.
It is not that I want them to be delayed or stay babies forever or anything like that (well, maybe sometimes). It is just that they are the last of the Harvey babies.
Every time they do something for the first time, it is the last time I will see my babies do something for the first time. As much as I love progress, this is met with a little sadness for me.
I can honestly say if I was younger I would keep having children. Not because it is easy, it really isn't. But it is such a miracle every time. The reward so surpasses the sacrifice, even now.
I was so overwhelmed when I found out that I was pregnant with the twins. I confess that I cried (for awhile), not because I wasn't happy they were coming, I just had no idea how I was going to be a good mom to that many kids in such a short amount of time (Emma was 2.5, Alina was 1.5 when they came)
Even now, I am not sure how we get through some days without serious injuries.
When I was pregnant with the boys, I read an article about spacing your children out. If you can leave 2 or more years between your kids, they have a greater chance of being smarter or something trivial like that.
We always wondered what it would feel like to be able to say "We don't want to be pregnant right now, so we will wait a month or two so the baby will come in April instead of March". There are many blessed people who have normal cycles who can make those decisions. We just weren't those people. So, the idea of child spacing was foreign to us.
I remember thinking - "Well, that is just not an option for us. I hope that our kids can spell by the time they graduate from high school" (Shawn would say here "Keri, you worry about the weirdest things")
What I have observed since then has been very encouraging. It is true that I don't read to any of the 3 younger children as much as I read to Emma and I can really see the benefit to the reading I did with Emma. However, I like to think that our 16 month spaced children are learning other skills that may not stand out at first glance:
1) Survival - every day these children have figure out how to make it to the next day. They to learn how to get down off of the surfaces that they climbed up on, by themselves. Emma never had to worry about that, I would go and get her. Even right now, the boys have climbed up on the couch, I can hear them giggling about it. I am not even in the same room. For sure one of them is going to fall off and bonk their head. I will tell you what my husband says to them every time: "gravity, no place for wimps". See, they are learning science at this very early age.
3) Problem solving - So many times in one day a crisis arises. We cannot jump in to all of them, so creative solutions need to be formed. For instance, Shawn was watching all of the kids yesterday and Isaac got a hold of a dried up hydrangea from outside. He brought it inside, and then proceeded to smash it all over the living room. Shawn was in the middle of something, so the girls started trying to clean it up with a stick (thinking it would work like a broom). "See daddy, we are helping you". Of course it just made a bigger mess, but you can't blame them for trying.
4) Teamwork - The kids know that when we are out and need to get moving, that they all pile on to their designated spots on the stroller and dad can push through any crowd. The girls know how to feed the boys their bottles and they know to tell me if there is any damage to vital organs in the case of a big wrestling match. One of my personal favourites is when the girls will cheer for another family member. For example: I send them out to Shawn while he is BBQ-ing they chant "go daddy go! go daddy go!" , Alina has also been known to say to herself "go Alina go!" when she is working up courage to do something new. We all need encouragement in the little things right? They are learning crucial life skills.
I am sure if I spent some time on it, I would be able to think of more. Of course each family is different, and each family will learn great lessons based on their demographic, but I guess I am just always working on the part of my brain that worries that we are somehow wrecking our children because we didn't do things according to the latest research. Mostly, I am learning to not read the latest research.
I love our family. I love that we turn heads every where we go. I know it is not just because our kids are adorable (and of course, I think they are). People wonder if we know that birth control has been invented etc...(people have actually asked me that if you can believe it). Most of the time, people just say "wow, you must be busy".
And I am.
I am busy and tired, and grateful, and exhausted, and exhilarated, and frustrated, and fulfilled. It all depends on the time of day, or the milestone that one of the children just passed.
I am alive. I am fully alive. I am stretched to capacity, I am running at full every day. I know I can't keep this up forever, but I waited for this. I begged God for this, and I can't complain about it now. I can just run to keep up with my promises.
And running is exactly what I will be doing once those little boys are not just kind of walking, but running. We are off to another phase, new challenges, nostalgia for the "little" days, but grateful. Very grateful.
(and a little tired)
