Why I am not raising good kids

I hear this phrase all the time "they are good kids".

I am sure they actually are good kids. Good kids with good parents. Good kids compared to other kids.

You know those kids who do bad things. They don't obey their parents, they run around and make trouble. The ones who could be a bad influence on good kids.

There is a deep problem with this thought. Look at Romans 3

¹⁰ As it is written:

“There is none righteous, no, not one;
¹¹ There is none who understands;
There is none who seeks after God.
¹² They have all turned aside;
They have together become unprofitable;

There is none who does good, no, not one 

This offends me. Does it offend you? 

What do you mean no one is good? I hold my tongue most of the time when I could really let someone have it...I don't go drinking on the weekends or ever really...I get up to pray (sometimes), I go to church and I am friendly to my neighbors (when I remember to)...

Don't you count all of my good deeds? Don't you see how hard I am trying? 

"I see you, what you do is a reflection of how much you see Me."

If Jesus didn't come for good kids/people, He didn't come for any of us.  I deceive myself when I try to be better than, good enough, trying harder.

If I don't see this, I will raise good kids that think they are better than others, and they are not. I think my kids are amazing, and I adore their little sinful hearts, but sinners they are. Selfish to the core. Willing to lie to get their way, even when they know better. 

Why does Emma run and hide in her room when she takes something she shouldn't have? She, in her own little garden of Eden, hides behind a table in her room with the coveted Sharpie primed to redecorate her room as quickly as she can before I find her. 

The garden of Eden is played out every hour when you are raising a toddler.

"Where are you?" 

When this question is answered in silence, I know that secrecy is involved. 

And because I love her, I go and find her. 

So did our Father. He comes to find me everyday just like He visited Adam and Eve in the garden, and asks the most important question of all time...

"Where are you?"

Is He dull, or limited when He asks this question? No, He is looking for me so He can restore  relationship with me. Even though I am the one who did wrong. 

He comes to find my broken, sinful heart.

That will never get old to me. He is not angry, he is desperate to offer relationship with me even when I am the one, who my own sin, broke the relationship in the first place. 

This is the GOOD NEWS! 

I am totally, absolutely wrong. 

Wonderful. 

I am free from trying to be better, trying to be good. I live in Christ and He is good. Because He is good, I participate in His goodness and He makes me new. 

And, I am free from raising good kids, better kids, kids who would never do that.

With all my heart, I want to raise kids who know that there is someone so much bigger than them, someone who can free them from the treadmill of their own striving for goodness, someone who can make their biggest messes beautiful in His time. 

I don't want good kids. I want kids who love Jesus. And I want kids that know how to love others because they themselves have been loved.  Let this revelation drive them:

Lord, I was destined for your wrath, but because of your great love, you came and found me and loved me. I cannot earn You, I will never deserve you. All my righteousness comes because I know You. 

So, here I am, I find myself an object of your affection. So undeserving, but so grateful. I will live to love you all my days, let my life be a reflection of your kindness and mercy. And when I die, let it be said of me that I fulfilled the purposes of God in my generation.

Amen