optimism

i feel the need to clarify my last post. my sister will be embarrassed that i am saying this, but she was worried about me. she said that last one didn't sound like me. if you felt the same, i am sorry and i am fine. (not that i really think you are spending all of your free time worrying about me, but still) it laughed a little when she asked me because i was, literally, falling asleep while i wrote that. i woke up twice and my fingers were still moving - so who knows what in the world i was saying. the whole scenario makes me laugh a little. not that what i said wasn't true, i just usually soften it a little before i hit "post". so there you have it.

i am happy to be an optimist, usually things hit me but i bounce back pretty quickly - i think the main thing i was trying to say was that i haven't really done a personal inventory for a little while and i think some of the deeper places of my heart need some attention.

i think we, our family, are moving into a new season (who isn't?), and i don't want to pack old stuff with me. i need to keep fighting for a clutter free life. it is so easy to just stay in the same old mindsets and slide into negativity. but we need to fight it. every day, i need to fight it. and the truth is, i have no reason to be negative right now - life is good. really good. but negativity is a rut and sadly the default setting for the fallen heart.

even today - the anniversary of the attacks on the twin towers, we must believe that there is hope and there is beauty even in the darkest nights.

life changes, hardships happen, we take hits and sometimes we get knocked down. BUT - in the end, we must get up, keep our hearts buoyant, and find joy in the everyday things.

and i need to remind myself, i am not pounding on the door asking for promises right now. i am through the door, keeping my house and running after my little promises every day.  i am not dreaming, i am living the dream. dreaming is a little cheap in comparison. living the dream is costly, and it takes a lot to embrace every minute of it.

but who is complaining? i have, in it's own time, received every single thing i asked for - at least the big ones and who cares about the rest?

there you have it, that is what i meant to say the other night - i am happy to report that i haven't fallen asleep even once in the process of typing this. ta daa!