seeing around corners

i am thinking tonight about transitions, and change. i have been observing my girls and of course, they are  teaching me. Alina started crawling a few weeks ago, and she is quickly picking up the knack for pulling up on things (you can imagine that this is a game changer for the mommy and the daddy, there is no more just laying around and making cute little noises).

I am on round two of watching babies develop new skills. there is a pattern, as much as babies follow a pattern. 1) they are content, enjoying the stage they are at. 5 weeks ago, Alina would lay on her play mat and coo and make great little noises. but then she started turning on her side which leads to 2) they get frustrated because they can tell there is something else that they should be able to do but they just can't yet. so she yells and cries and grunts and groans until...3) she figures out what to do and then she is off to the races. About 4 weeks ago, Alina was up on her knees rocking back and forth, and in no time she was crawling at lightning speed into the kitchen and under my feet.

and then, this week the pattern repeated itself - she was not content to crawl, now she is up on her knees finding tables and shelves, anything that is just a little taller than her that she can pull up on. but she is frustrated because she can't do it yet, and sometimes she bonks her head on the floor when she is trying to get up.

the thing is, i am pretty calm throughout the whole process. i know she will figure it out. i am there to comfort her when she gets too mad or hurts herself... i am guessing you can see where i am going with this.

Matthew 6:25-34“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
  “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
  “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

and there you have it. 

i can't see around corners, but He can. and He is not nervous - not one bit. 

He is compassionate, He is patient, He is ready to encourage and comfort, but He is not worried that we won't figure it out. 

so, the question for my heart..."why do i have so little faith?" which is really what i am saying when I am worrying. inadvertently, i am saying "i can't see around corners, but neither can You, so i better not sleep well, and i better spend lots of time spinning my brain and trying to figure it all out." 

and i get frustrated. but i need to be frustrated if i am going to change. 

in every process, there are things that i can do, and then there are things that only He can do. I cannot open doors, make things happen, make dreams come true. but i can practice faithfulness, servanthood and humility. and i can keep trusting. 

Alina does this by instinct. she doesn't really worry that someone won't come to get her. she is bold in her learning (mostly because she doesn't understand gravity, but still). and i want to be bold in my learning and my practicing. 

i don't know what all of this flexing and lifting will produce, but i do know that when i turn the corner i want to have more character than when i stood on the other side. and i want my faith to say "no matter what, i trust that you will catch me if i fall". 

and more importantly, i want to remember that in all of this that not only does He see around the corner to what is coming next, He sees me. and if my little human heart can explode with joy when i see Alina figure something out, I just have to imagine that my Father jumps for joy when i do turn that corner knowing and loving Him more.  

if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. 

once again Lord. you have left me speechless. thanks.