attitude

You have heard it, I have heard it, but it bears repeating:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."

Thank you Chuck Swindoll for one of the best summaries of attitude ever written. 

I think we all need to walk in empathy for others. We listen, we try to understand, we grow with people  and we lead. We do our best to guide, and not DRAG people through life's process. What we cannot control is how they will perceive us, and how they will respond to our voice. 

Add that to the list, the very loooonnnngg list of things I cannot control. I will name a few (feel free to add your own) I cannot control my husband, my children, my reputation, or how people perceive me. I cannot control how people will treat me, or how they will treat the words I speak to them; meaning they can choose to twist those words and make them into something completely different than I intended. 

I cannot control the weather, or another person's health, or the choices they make or don't make to take care of themselves. I cannot control the economy or the government...shall I go on? 

I have one card that I can play. I can play this card every time: 

my attitude (my outlook, my response when things do not go my way.) 

In case we need a refresher on how strong our inner toddler is, maybe we should be filmed the next time some one cuts us off in line, or speaks rudely to us in a store, or the worst...when someone in authority over us says "no" or "do it this way, not that way". 

You could come hang out at my house if you forgot what that looks like in its purest form. I get yelled at, the tantrums fly...I am sure you can imagine. Even then, do you know who is the only one with the power to calm themselves down? The toddler. So, I leave her in her room to stomp and storm, but she is clear...it is her job to turn that bad attitude around. Until she does, she is not fit for public. So, in her room she stays. 

Now, we are much more refined. No throwing or stomping (most of the time). 

But what about our hearts? Do we fuss and fume and find people who will tell us we are right and reinforce or offence with so and so? 

What do our tantrums sound like? Usually gossip and criticism. Throw in some whining and complaining and there! We have ourselves a good, old fashioned grown up temper tantrum. 

No one likes it when their will is crossed. I haven't met anyone anyway. But I have met, and I try to be like this, those who have learned the value of not getting their way. They have bent to another person's wisdom, and learned to humble themselves instead of demanding their own way. 

Do we say "I am sorry"? Do we say "I was wrong"? 

There are times when I need to walk myself to a quiet place and grab myself by the back of the neck and say "Listen up Keri Ann Harvey! You stop complaining and fussing! You grow up and respond like a redeemed woman of God" 

It is not comfortable, but what is the alternative? 

A child who is never crossed is what? 

Spoiled, of course. 

An teenager or adult who is never crossed is entitlement driven. We demand that people treat us a certain way before we will listen to them. 

I just don't believe this is the way of wisdom. 

Proverbs 6:6 

Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones.
   Learn from their ways and become wise!

I am not calling anyone lazy, but I love the heart of Solomon who would learn from something as small as an ant. 

This is the truth: We can learn from ANYTHING if our hearts are bent to learn. We can also resist learning by demanding that everything comes in predictable packages that we find appropriate. 

I know that in the end, others will be judged for how they treated me. But - I will be judged for my response to all of it. I will be the one who benefits if I set my heart, my attitude, and my response to humble myself and learn life's hard lessons. 

This means I declare war on gossip, whining, complaining, self pity and criticism and I open my heart and hands wide to say "teach me, I am willing to learn." 

That 10% of life that happens to us can be a rough ride sometimes - but how I respond determines how the rest of my 90% turns out.