The Shower that I Used to Know

You know, I like a hot shower as much as the next gal. There is nothing like a shower to help wake you up in the morning, get you going, and feel ready for your day. However, my showers are a whole new experience these days.

Take today for instance: it is Saturday, I am done making/having breakfast with the family, it is time to get the day going so I clear my shower plans with my husband - he will be on duty for this 10 minute event. I get the all clear, I pick out my clothes for the morning: clothes that I can clean in, get food on when the girls "help me" make lunch, as well as something the boys can spit on because that is just going to happen. Jeans and layered T-shirts, check.

I am in the shower, I hear Emma. She is outside the door. In moments I am sure she will be inside the door. It is not like I don't lock the door, I do. But, thanks to my last blog (about Emma's love for keys), and my thoughtful sister, she now has keys that look just like mine and they are perfect for unlocking bathroom doors. 3...2...1..."Hi Mommy".

"Hi babe, Mommy is having a shower right now and I need some privacy."

"Ok, Mom." She shuts the door.

She is still inside. Apparently "privacy" doesn't apply to her.

Bang! Alina has arrived on her pink, ride on, princess car. "Hi Mommy"

"Hey everyone" (Where is daddy????)

"Ok, Ladies!" (There he is) "Mommy needs some privacy" and he hustles them out. I finish. I scramble to get dressed before the next appearance. I am sweating to beat the mob, I am going to need another shower. I barricade the door with the vanity drawer. I hear Alina outside the door, keys in hand. Rattle, rattle. No luck. I hear the pink car...CRASH. My barricade worked (successful smile to myself in the mirror - oh yeah, that's how I roll).

I am dressed - keys are still rattling so I open the door a little and Alina comes falling into the bathroom.

"Hi mommy, Me opened the door for you".

"Thanks honey".

Add this to the list of real estate that is given up when one has toddlers/small children.

We were visiting with some friends recently, and the dad was lamenting about his wife's inability to keep the kids out of the bathroom while she was doing her business. "I do not have one memory of my mother going to the bathroom! My children are going to be scarred for life. I come home from work and it is like they are having story time around the toilet".

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US???

Dear Lord, we are going mad.

We don't sleep.

I told Emma yesterday that I get very cranky when she comes in first thing in the morning and makes demands of me and whines. So this morning at 6:15, I have a very perky toddler jumping beside my bed saying (so sweetly, but LOUDLY) "Moooommmmmy! I am hungry, and I want to watch something and I want to lay on the bed beside you and eat my snack and I need milk, my legs hurt and Alina woke me up.....Mommy, you are not waking up, I am hungry"

It is like a stun gun got shot right at my head. And my inner coach is telling me not to yell and scar my child for life, so I just lay there and try to think of a gentle response. So, I poke Shawn and pray he will have pity on my paralyzed self.

Instead, Samuel wakes up. So we are both on duty now. The day has started, we are off to the races. I need a hot shower.


wait a minute....