The Thin Veil to Eternity

We had a full weekend.

Within 24 hours I went to a wedding a funeral.

The wedding was beautiful of course. Tears of sentiment flowed freely. So much emotion wrapped up in that short walk down an aisle.

I used to watch the bride, then I learned to turn and watch the groom. Now, I watch the parents.

Our lives are marked by these moments.

I can only imagine that 1,000 memories of firsts flash through their minds. First words, first steps, swimming lessons, first day of school, first heartbreak...so many summer holidays, so many moments in the very full chapter of life that happens between birth and young adulthood. One small walk down an aisle and an entire chapter of a parents life closes.

There is a ceremony, speeches from those closest to them and my favourite,  a slideshow that takes us all by the hand and allows the parents to show us all how cute those chubby cheeked, spaghetti covered little ones were when they were sitting in their high chair.

Of course there are many happy memories yet ahead, but it is different now. It all changes.

All of the frustrating childhood moments: "Brush your hair, brush your teeth, make your bed, stop yelling at them! Why did you lie about that??"
All of those moments get swallowed into this bigger moment and none of that stuff actually matters at all.

Parents have provided, shaped, prayed and championed these lives since the minute they were born. It represents the deepest love I could imagine. It is the closest we come to loving like God loves.



Weddings give us a chance to say goodbye to one season and say hello to another one, so full of hope and expectation.

It is a full day of emotion for everyone, but especially for the parents.

What a parent never imagines is that they will host a funeral for their child.  In fact, this is what every parent prays they will never have to endure.

There is a ceremony, speeches from those closest to them and a slideshow that takes us all by the hand and allows the parents to show us all how cute those  chubby cheeked, spaghetti covered little ones were when they were sitting in their high chair.

Two weeks ago, a daughters life was cut short. She was 24. She had lived those 24 years with much laughter, but also heartache and deep struggle with invisible enemies that had tormented her from a young age.

Again, I watch the parents. There is a tragic review of the evidence. What could I have done differently? How could I have spared her from this torment? I would take her place in a heart beat to give her another chance at life.

Together, we celebrated who she was. We grieve, but none of us will know the sorrow that her mother and father will carry.

My heart breaks this mother. All she wanted was for us to know how special and magnificent her daughter was. We listened to her weep softly as each of us took our turns sharing our small glimpse into her little girls life. None of us knew her like her mom, but she leaned in anytime we shared how much her daughters life touched ours.

Our tears flowed freely. We hugged and tried to laugh. Our one consolation was that she was now in the arms of Jesus. She loved Jesus in life, she will love Him in death.

As the hymn says "I'll sing with the glittering crown upon my brow, if ever I loved Thee, my Jesus tis now"

It brings eternity to me again.

It reminds me so deeply of the first time I felt eternity enter my world in a tangible way. My mom, with laboured breathing, took her last breath on earth and walked into forever. It was so close, so beautiful, so vibrant.

I wanted to go too.

It made everything here, even the brightest colours, so grey and pale.

I rarely dream of my mom anymore, but I did last night. I think my heart has been closer to heaven the past few days, that is when it usually happens. I was talking to her in my dream, we were walking through a garden and I said "Do you see Him (Jesus) from time to time?" she smiled and said "We don't do 'time to time' here, there is no time, we are just together, always"

It was a funny question that my logical mind would know better than to ask. I know there is no time in heaven and I would imagine Jesus is fully present in ways we could never imagine.

But I guess my heart was asking questions. "All of this matters right? All of this work, all of these moments that we make so much of, do they actually matter?"  There is a rhythm about life, it can't be avoided. Bills need to be paid, alarm clocks need to be set, schedules need to be kept. But that is not life.

I need to be reminded of eternal things.  We don't really live "time to time" but we live "moment to moment" inside time are the moments that actually matter.

In life and in death, love matters. Investments in others matter. Saying what you feel about someone is essential even if it is uncomfortable or embarassing. Goodbyes should mean something and not be brushed over because they are hard.

Life is full of beginnings and endings, we should be good at both. Weddings, births, funerals, they all remind us of what really matters. We need to notice moments when they come, so we don't get swallowed up in the business of the chronological monotony.

When you can laugh until you hurt, do it. Don't hold back.

When you need to cry for sentiment or grief, open the floodgate and let the ugly tears fly.

Chapters open and chapters close.

Death often teaches me to live.

I think that is what makes the death matter. What their lives taught us becomes our textbook and their memory gives us the courage to do things we may have never done.

As Ecclesiastes tells us "Death is the destiny of every man and the living should take it to heart".

Our broken hearts are swallowed up in the wholeness we all long for when we walk into eternity.

In the meantime, we must live. We must truly live.

My favourite quote:

"Now we should live while the pulse of life is strong, life is a tenuous thing...fragile, fleeting....don't wait for tomorrow. Be here now, be here now, be here now"

The sun is shining, the day is waiting. We should grab this day and the people we love and live it. Live big, live strong.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some meals to prepare, hair to brush and cheeks to kiss. We may just have spaghetti, I need some more pictures of cute, messy faces.