far as the curse is found

i find it so interesting that at christmas in every mall and grocery store you will hear this song - joy to the world - but that one line came into my mind today "He comes to make His blessings flow, far as the curse is found". i know it is not christmas, but how can i help it if christmas songs fly through my head, yesterday jingle bells flew through quite a few times. anyway, i had a point.  i think it is great that such a profound truth makes it into the mainstream life at least once a year.

to think that He comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found - is SUCH a profound thought. it is true that the sins of the fathers is visited on to the third and fourth generation. but even more importantly, He came to overtake the the curse, as far as it is found, with his blessings.

did you ever see fantasia 2000? you should. the animation for the firebird suite shows a forest overtaken by a fire, the forest is a ruined, charred landscape. then, hope. the firebird flies over the forest and brings the beautiful, green landscape back with her - a green blanket overtaking the scorched darkness.

a simple reminder that there is nothing the enemy can throw at us that the Lord cannot restore. second beauty is better than original beauty. there is a special love that comes to dreams that were stolen, cursed and then restored.

the curse is strong - divorce, abuse, fear, rejection, insecurity - but God is stronger. He sweeps through our charred, broken landscape and scatters His seed of hope and faith. the miracle of re-birth and then the beautiful, restored life emerges. we are stronger for what we have suffered. we are fierce about freedom. a determined, broken army of restored souls ready to seek and save what was lost.

His blessing is flowing, as far as the curse is found.

the truth about that thief

i spend quite a bit of time listening to people talk about the things the enemy has stolen. innocence, time, purity, joy, peace. you name it, if it is kingdom given, the enemy wants it and he won't stop until he can devour every beautiful thing from our lives. when we are ignorant of this scheme and this strategy against us, we are ravaged, spoiled, overwhelmed, defeated, and resigned. as a leader and lover of people, it never ceases to amaze me the things that people have survived. and there they are...saying "when i was 8, i was molested", "they said this when I was 10", or "I never knew my dad, I don't even know what he looks like".  these hearts are ravaged. fear of the future, regret for the past, heads hung low in shame, minds battered by torment.

until, He comes.

and there He is. He begins to woo,  and court us.

when my grandma died, someone at the funeral told me that my grandpa used to whistle a little song  called "sentimental journey" outside my grandma's window when he came to court her. he would whistle this under her window, and it was her signal to come outside and see him. my grandpa had died one year earlier and the person talking to me said "i think he was whistling to her, he was ready for her to come and be with him".

i think this is what the Lord does with us. in the middle of our broken and charred landscape, He begins to whistle His song, sing His song of deliverance over us. and we run to the one who can replace what the enemy has stolen. not only does He replace, He makes it better, He makes it like it never happened. Only better. better because we are smarter, stronger and ready to pull others out of the same darkness.

and He loves us. how He loves us. so beautifully He loves us. He melts our resistance, His perfect love casts out our fear. and right in the middle of that barren field, He gives us beauty for ashes, strength for fear.

Jesus loves me this i know.

our young people did a declaration a couple of years ago. my favorite line continues to be "just try to tell me my God doesn't heal. Just try to tell me my God doesn't save. just try to tell me that God doesn't do miracles in this day...you're looking at one. "

so restore, Father. teach us to be a part of the healing for others.  restorer of the broken walls, repairers of the breach. let your kingdom come. here. now, on our earth as it is in your heaven.

our family rocking chair

we have a picture of my dad holding my sister and i in a rocking chair they bought when we were babies. that chair has been with us since then. now that chair is in emma's room and i rock her to sleep in it every night. it strikes me every time i hold her, in that chair how my parents must have felt about me and my sister. and i wonder, "did they have the same emotions that i have sitting here, loving this baby more than life itself?" how could i have receive that kind of love and not even been aware of it at the time? i can say that the love that came to me in that chair grew and shaped me long after i was too big to fit in their arms anymore.

and it makes me want to scream out loud "I WANT MY MOMMY!"

there are times, like tonight, that it rips me wide open for the wanting of her laugh and her smile and her deep belief that i could truly do anything. i want to see her looking at emma. i want to see her delighting in every little thing she does, just like i do. i ache to hear her tell me that i am doing a good job, and that being a mommy looks good on me. all i want to do is be a mom like she was.

to be fair, i am not delusional, she was not perfect. there were many things that i am sure she would have changed about herself. but there was one thing she was exceptional at, and that was being our mom. and God, i miss her.

i am spoiled for life by her belief in me, because no one replaces that pure, abandoned faith that a mother has in her child. i know that now because i joined the mommy club and every acheivement for emma- great or small-makes me want to take out a front page ad that says "did you see what she just did? isn't she amazing? isn't she the cutest thing you have ever seen?"

and it makes me want to salute those who didn't have that fan in the front row in the form of their mom, but they are claiming that spot right now for their babies. they limp through life so their kids can run. they fight their demons so the kids can live with angels.

Thank God for moms. truly, thank God.

and for another day, i will save the posts about dad, because heaven knows he is pretty amazing too. and on that note, i just want to say that i am glad that he is still here. more about that another day. i need to blow my nose.

why i love the olympics

certainly not because i am an athlete - although in my dreams i do wish that i could actually look good in any of the outfits these people wear...luge, honestly. maybe i could wear the goalie outfit for hockey...figure skating, have you ever noticed that the men are fully clothed but the women are flying around on ice in bikinis? anyway, that is a topic for another day. and here i am saying that i would love to be an athlete, but i am not.

so why do i love the olympics? i will tell you. last night we were at hudson's bay company in downtown vancouver when canada won the first gold medal on canadian soil. we heard it before we saw it. the entire store, yes, the entire department store went crazy- complete strangers hugging and saying "yeah canada!". when we stopped to see the replay on a tv in the middle of the men's section, a whole group of people stopped to watch with us. for 30 seconds we all stopped and celebrated the achievement of a mogul skier that no one expected to win.

when we got home we watched the tv footage of his interviews, etc... so then we find out that this guy has an older brother that has cerebral palsy. they show these two brothers together, and i am sitting there, not just crying, but veritably sobbing with my husband. the gold medal winner is simply stating that he has no room to complain since he can walk. everytime he feels like skipping out of practice he remembers his brother that was not supposed to walk after the age of 10, and he is well past that now and still going strong,  then they show the footage of the older brother standing and cheering for his brother as he comes down the hill. yup...still sobbing.

it is beauty, heroism and simple home-spun humility that i just don't see in the multi-million dollar athletes that play professional sports.

and that is why i love the olympics.

an inconvenient truth

sorry to steal this title, but it is what came to mind. i realized today that most inconvenience in my life comes from people i love and want to be with. it is inconvenient because i want to do non-people things, like read, or take a nap. when i get over myself i see that wrapped in my irritation is a chance to know people more, make a memory, build relationship. i love reading and relaxing and of course we all need to do it. but at the end of my life, what i won't remember the times i got my way and spent the afternoon on the couch. what i will remember, are the conversations i had, the baby i cuddled, the friends i made, and the time i spent with the people i love.

this is just for me, a little pep talk to help me love interruptions. enjoy.